She spoke of well-known figures of society such as the Lady Granchester who had farted in the Queen’s presence. ‘It was a fart of some magnitude, my dears,’ she said, ‘such as might have taken Lord Nelson himself all the way to France!’ And of Lady Constance Tolmore who, ‘should more appropriately be called Lady Incontinence since she pissed as she alighted from her carriage on arrival at the Palace one evening.’ We were, as you may imagine, hysterical in our laughter. She told us of an occasion when she had walked in to a privy chamber to find Her Majesty on her knees before the King himself. His Majesty had said, ‘Do take a seat, My Lady, my wife is in no position to converse at this moment but soon she shall be. I have urgent business of State to attend to.’ Jenkins led us with some ceremony to a guest room and Lady Rampton, when Jenkins had left, immediately divested herself of all her raiment. It was clear that she too had urgent matters to deal with. She knelt, quite naked,. Understand?’ Mark didn’t. What were these cops up to? Why wasn’t he being booked? Whack! ‘Understand?’ Mark nodded. ‘Good boy, now we’re gonna check that you aren’t carrying any concealed weapons.’ What? How could I be? I’m fuckin’ naked! Then one cop pulled Mark over to a table and pushed his chest on its top. His butt faced the officers, and he was still handcuffed. Then he was stunned – stunned – upon feeling hands paw his ass. ‘No Tom, I don’t feel any weapons here. How about you?’ Mark then felt more hands grabbing his cheeks, and running up and down his thighs, between his legs, and fondling his balls. ‘No Bill, all this seems OK. But I think we should take a deeper look.’ Deeper? Deeper where? For what? Mark had an answer when he felt his cheeks being pulled apart and a finger against his bud. ‘Tom, will ya’ look at this? It seems that our pervert has gotten himself fucked in the ass recently. Very recently. Look at all this cream and – what’s this? – jism on his butt hole.’.
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